“So, I look good?” I give her a once over. “You look great, can only imagine the jealous eyes on me at this thing.” She looks shocked. “It’s a charity event.” And charity event people don’t carry hard ons too. “Oooo-kay.”
“Will people approach me though, for the right reasons?”
I smile. “The women will.” And the men will be dangling their rods nearby and that’s it. I can’t blame them too much either. So long as none of them look like Zac Effron. “Hmm.” She gets me to zip the back and sits on the bed. Charity is the last place where I want to be right now, I either want to be naked with her or naked with her. “Quick smoke? “She mm-hmms me so I double light. We go to the balcony and I hand her the stronger one. “How’s the story, any movement?”
She had to ask. I shrug and place a foot at the wall wishing I was twenty-three again. I look like a heavy chef on break. Just a chef then, really. “It’s fine, good… no, yeah, good.” Her face looks fantastic. It always does and I know why she’s with me, for the money which I don’t have. But I will. I WILL. “It’s about people with learning difficulties, right?” I’m staring, again. She doesn’t care. In fact it’s the reason why she was born most probably. “Sure, but that’s fucking quite ironic as the writer writing it’s the one with the learning difficulties.” She smiles and me pants does a dance. Most popular disco in the world in there. “Anyhow, I’ll do it when home.” I check my watch. “Will you not drink so much tonight?” I want to try but it can’t work. Never did. “Sure.”
“Seriously?” My faces says it all, weren’t for our current outdoor endeavour and I’d be back inside finishing my gin. She grabs my bloated waistline and says: “Go anymore pounds over on that scale and THIS,” then she points at her body, “this goes bye-bye. ”
And she has me in one fell fat swoop. Sonova… .

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