Three hundred and sixty five days ‘til Christmas
rears its head again
Regardless, I’ll be wrapping my bits ‘n’ bobs soon
Side-stepping the mayhem

While the rest of you
Won’t bother giving the thing a second thought
Cellotape in hand
I’ll be sitting pretty with all of my gifts bought

Nana sipping hot port
Two slices of lemon and a clove either side
Granddad giving the old Super Nintendo a blast
Limbs bouncing about the place with pride

Mom rushing to and from the kitchen
For her this is pure heaven
Landing a fat and glistening turkey on the table
Move one finger and I get a “careful now, Kevin.”

Christmas is great, a time to feel super
Although I’ll tell you this for nothing
If my girlfriend expects that Mini-Cooper then she’s nothing but a peroxide-blond looper