It will take trust – trust in myself above all else, to really defeat this OCD. Writing aside, it has train-wrecked everything in my life, really. I mean, I am thankful, outrageously so in fact for the many, many people in my life who have always remained with me. But, above all else, I think the most gratitude must go to myself, for what I most probably may always have to deal with on a daily basis. Also, the level of anguish that I have had to handle since I was merely a child. An imbalance. A fluke imbalance. An imbalance that often-times does not allow for any kind of spontaneity. And I do get the absolute feeling that I do love spontaneity. Just look at my goddamn writing 🙂 🙂 🙂 I do not feel a need to explain the in’s-and-out’s of the condition right this minute. Just to say that I am learning to control it. Learning, as I go, how to maybe one day even get to truly utilize it for its whole god-forsaken over-analytical worth. Because, there is, in fact, a worth in there – just look at my goddamn writing 😉 Truth be told, what I have so far managed to achieve in my life, across the board, is absolutely mind-boggling in its very own entirely separate sense. Often-times I will sit with it and find myself thinking: Holy shit! Just how extraordinarily debilitating is this disorder I have!? Just how goddamn irrational is it all, really! Outright inexplicably irrational, is the answer.