You’re talking about distancing yourself from the ruination of rumination- and what that actually means is exactly that thing. To DISTANCE your mind from anything which will begin to feel like a rumination. I.e. A thought that continues on in a spiralling nature inside of your mind and to the point of repetitive and mind-anguishing overthought. To be able to actually write down what needs doing and to, what’s more, understand the whole thing perfectly well whilst also having to simultaneously experience said ruminations attempt to crucify your mind is… a kind of unfair mental anguish which no-one gets to understand, ever. Not even me, to an extent. You gotta give up the ghost. That’s it really. In a nutshell. Look after yourself one hundred percent. You can’t be spending all of your time watching yourself crumble awhile your nearest and dearest appear to have no clue how you are feeling inside. Your mind is utterly fine- much, MUCH more than fine, actually. But your brain- and here’s the kicker, the utter heartbreaking difference between the pair – is off-kilter and stuck in a limbo of rumination. I think if you were to ask any one ocd-sufferer about this, a large part of them might just agree entirely with that description. It’s probably why I seem to gravitate toward(towards?!🤷‍♂️) hard-hitting art, art that seems to many people as deep as a thousand oceans heaped atop of the other. Because… well, I get it. One hundred percent. Get where that pain may just have come from- a thousand times over, in fact. It kinda does and does not pain me to say this, but that kind of art isn’t at all deep to me, in my mind. In fact, it eases me hugely. To be perfectly honest, I might as well be looking at a beautiful and poetically cliche landscape for the comfort it brings me.

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