When you have banked around about 3’000 poems in the space of let’s say 4 years, you kinda stop and have to think… Okay, this is a pretty good return and what’s more people seem to really love your style. You’re not so visual and you find yourself questioning whether you have a devil on your shoulder telling you that you cannot let yourself be all out poetic, or you simply feel this way naturally and just don’t really appreciate the medium all in all.
Perhaps this needs no label, no title, no nothing. If I am anything then I would have to go with a writer. And that is a title, if you like, that I will happily take. It’s in me – these words just land and shake and mend themselves into place with relative ease. It has never felt like work, not for a second, and now it’s time for the poems to truly speak for themselves, I feel. For people to push a couple of them forward just like the Bandon Walled poem is being done at the moment which is super but neither can I know if anything will come if it.
Or maybe something did already come of it. I got commissioned, I performed it on the day of the festival, and I recorded it. I impressed everyone who read it. That’s enough for now. It has to be. There has to be other activities out there, things that won’t have me staring at art and wondering why on earth I can’t seem to blur the stark line between art in a visual sense and words. Is it frustrating? I don’t think so really, only there is something I need to do – to intermingle my words with an amazing piece of art, or perhaps in fact I have already done this just not on a level where it is on everyone’s mind. This does beg the glaring question, what is enough?
Because there are poems in homes, on the walls of popular businesses – cafes, pubs, etcetera. My poetry cv is killer to be fair, if anyone ever wanted a poetry cv that is. I’m interested to see if I gain a household name or just plateau around about here. Of course I’ve no idea. Do you? This isn’t a lack of confidence, just that my levels of expectation were always ridiculously huge as in anything less than a Nobel Prize for literature(I knowwww!??), a Pulitzer(more doable… right now), or a Booker Prize(surely) and it just won’t sit too well at all with me. :)))))