Will our child ever go to sleep
She crawls about the place at nauseating pace
The slightest of touched and she stirs followed by a peep
Before too long forcing me from my bed, no make-up on mommy’s face

My husband utters for me to dip a finger of whiskey in her gob
Low and behold a moments silence right there on the spot
Five minutes later she wails again, sob after God forsaken sob
Is it me or did she just rip the side-paneling from her cot

On her 2nd birthday she gets stopped in her tracks
Compared with our newborn her wails do in fact appear quite slack
Two children’s way worse than one, I anticipate the cracks
My husband whispers in my ear, Christ, can we not just send the pair of them back

The cries will continue, flack and more flack
But over time they’ll find their feet, maybe even lose some teeth
How silly were we to even consider sending them back
All jokes aside, my two children are turning out a treat