No chance, give ’em a mile and they take an inch
Reverse that scenario and you get to forever be seen as a narrow-minded individual
Speak soon as you’re spoken to
Unsettling, perhaps, yet a none too peculiar offspring
Blind-drunk is quite alright… so long as they are willing to learn from a heady mistake or ten
A few too many young parents with the absolute heebie-jeebies
Desperate for a shoulder to cry upon
Walking around town with their adolescent’s head down, locked rather unconteollably in something of a noose
Loosen the grip
Try and remember your very own carefree youth, how you and your every partner-in-crime set fire to the whole damn thing
Again and again…
Smoke in front of us as opposed to behind our backs…
Drink when Christmas time comes right round, otherwise you’ll be entirely found out!
Barfing all down the back end of your mother’s favourite couch
The one for those distant neighbours
Trust us on this
Heck, if you even do so much as steer clear of the dreaded rum & coke – namely Jamaican – for that particular concoction will choke you out, that’d be oh so nice
Sound advice
Seeing your only daughter dressed to the nines – be it a belt rather than a dress – is one of the most distressing experiences in this God awful world
So, we beg you this: before the show really begins, sit back down, recall your each and every own faults
Salt of the earth, surprise, surprise, they the ones with an outrageous thirst
Seems we just must entice them on into a far safer sensation
And no, I don’t speak here of sex
There’s another such hex altogether!
Wait for me a moment while I fetch the protection…