She was the woman, pretty as, and she sure as hell went right ahead and painted herself into many an all too deceptive picture
To muddle her parents’ minds right the wrong way round
Her as far away as Abu Dhabi – three cameled kings in absolute tow, knowing full well that this will appeal to her headstrong father who has always been rather adamant on his daughter marrying on up
A strip show in Las Vegas – each semi-clad Nevada woman to their very own, albeit she the only one right by the door taking all of the punters earnings
Of course, this solely goes out to her younger brother and all of his randy high-school mates
Then, a picture which somehow, anyhow, manages to paint a thousand words all of its own seriously peculiar accord
So much as a sword fight with the Dali Lama – putting Kill Bill Vol. 1 et Uma Thurman to shame, fans swarming whilst she gets to take the grand-master on
Oh so crazily erroneous, albeit at the exact same time mind-bogglingly impressive
And where was she when all of these ‘things’ were seemingly taking place all across the land? Stuffing her beautiful face with enough boxes of Domino’s pizza – namely Double Decadence – to fill the goddamn Grand Canyon perhaps ten times over
Christ, wait ’til you hear about that particular picture! Let’s just say right now, she was barely sober

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