I’m taking notes for the people with OCD in the future because, truly, this particular mental disorder needs such a thing for them to try and understand all of the more. It’s an imbalance and that’s what we concentrate on… letting it the hell alone. It’s gonna feel all sorts of wrong, as it is after all your imbalanced brain screaming out for a calm that it doesn’t appear to have in the first place, like with most people. So, really you’re just enthusing the imbalance all the more over and over again, and, yeah, the only surefire way to live as well as humanly possible with chronic OCD, or even any level of OCD, because either way if it latches onto the sufferer more and more over time the more it will truly destroy and distort their brain. So, yeah, I have to be extremely careful not to fall, let’s say, between the cracks again with this thing and for my own, yeah… sanity, basically. Because OCD IS insanity to a large and mind-pummelling extent. So, I do this, write these notes, both for myself and for other sufferers of this horrid, HORRID mental illness. And it is an illness, of course it is. But neither can I feel a constant need to have to think that my particular onslaught of OCD is different to the rest. It is indeed going to be different, such are the workings, or otherwise, of each individual’s brain and personality and how it might take to the onslaught in its own shape and form. But what is absolutely the same as EVERY OTHER PERSON who does have OCD is that it is pretty much a complex imbalance happening for all of us however crazy-assed the themes become. It might affect different parts of different individual’s minds and in totally different ways but it’s still OCD in the end that is causing the same sort of mental chaos and havoc for all of us and in the first place improperly. So, yeah, for me. at least, a diagnosis such as OCD is everything because that way I am able to work off something, knowing that that is what is happening to my brain and mind. Again, I cannot stress enough just how difficult it is for a sufferer of this illness to, let’s say, get a truly advantageous grip over it. It’s messed-up and all kinds of fucked up too, actually. We keep going because, really, we have absolutely no other choices other than to either end up feeling okay in ourselves or endlessly caught up in a loop cycle of illogical fear. The latter is NO SORT OF CHOICE whatsoever. It the imbalance doing its damnedest. The strength of the fear latching onto our all of everything inside of our brain really is a catastrophic experience and, at that, a lifelong one for many sufferers. We just have to learn how to turn it down, is all, the utter bombardment, etc. The etc. in OCD’s instance is… “holy wow!!!” Fucked up to the bone. And, often too, for all involved in our lives as well. It is hardly bearable for the sufferer, and at its worst it is undeniably an absolute mental torture chamber of the highest and most unmatched variety, I’m fairly sure of it. Proof of all of the above mentioned is this: that I am almost 41 years old and have suffered with this same imbalance of the brain for roundabout… thirty years now, since the age of ten or maybe eleven, but I can’t pin it down exactly either. So, yeah, on I go, on I understand, and ON I ACCEPT the instrumental tools I’ve been given going forward for myself and those around me. But something is definitely off, all of the more, in terms of just how difficult is it for a sufferer to manage this disorder… this… illogical and twisted up mess… its spikes and triggers and what not. I’m still the happiest fucker out there, just that it’s a different kinda happiness, is all 😊 ❤️