Ok, OCD is no joke, OCD is hell on earth, and here is what I am doing next to be okay living with it. Let the imbalance be there, as is protocol, even if it’s all my automatic brain/thought-process knows at this stage. Fuck the themes it brings together in the most outlandishly fucked-up manner, in keeping the sufferer utterly caught in its illogical grip… nearly all of the day long. Fuck what it did to my brain and fuck my trying to explain it to anyone else whatsoever. I have chronic OCD, and I am as willing as ever to, well, to try and live as comfortably as a person can with this, let’s call it, fucksake fluke of a basically inexplicable mental illness. I got this, even if… I don’t all of the time have it. But people need to know this. That people who suffer with OCD, of any kind, have literally no call at all in stopping this train-wreck of an imbalance. I mean, we try, and try… and try like the most resilient mother-fuckers in the whole land, but the initial imbalance, that very thing that’s causing all of this mental anguish and agony in the first place, is more often than not too mentally taxing and inescapable to get away from inside of our heads to live with. And by living with it, I mean actually managing to not entertain it, as best we can. And sometimes, when feeling akin to a kind of good which we were supposed to feel in the first place anyway, we know one-hundred-percent what’s been happening to our imbalanced brains and our distorted minds, as a result. This is all so very heartbreaking to deal with. We will have even analysed it to the death and, yet, gotten simultaneously caught up in its grasp time again. THAT is a perverse sort of injustice for anyone to have to deal with. Yes. It is fucking lonely having OCD, and yes it is absolutely one of the scariest, more devastatingly… illogical mental illnesses, let’s go with, that can be imagined, especially in the sufferer’s case. Because, in many ways, and certainly to ourselves, our imaginations seem to’ve been taken over by this mental ordeal. But what is your life supposed to feel like, what’s it supposed to look like without OCD? Or, at least, without it ruling-the-roost over your brain and mind? What, then, do we do with all of that… unfathomably uninterrupted time on our hands. On our damn minds? Because THAT particular thing will feel like the most effed-up experience all on its own for the sufferer who has gone through a lifelong battle with such a chronic and mind-bending mental disorder. So… what DO we do? We keep going, like we’ve been doing all of our lives, really, as best we can, and we keep… living our best out-loud lives with it 😊 ❤️