It was nice
Twelve of us in all
Sitting at the bar
Completely jarred
When we got to talking about our goals
Ernie didn’t know what to say
Far too small to reach for the stars
While Ricky had achieved all of his
“A beautiful wife & two kids”
Delighted for him
I was
Even though this didn’t really seem like an achievement to me
Poor guy
Forever flustered
Rarely has time to be free
Thomas said he liked the look of vampires
That he’d always liked to bite someone
I turned in the other direction
The fella was talking tripe
I asked the barman the same question
He shrugged
“Guess I’m doing it right now…
Serving beer to dead-beats with no such hope.”
I wondered if his goal had ever been
To be the most honest & sober fella stood at the bar
“Shut your face and gimme a jar!”
He did what he was told
He always did when he was serving the men
With a few years on him
The ones he might call old
The other fellas shrugged too
Hands on the hips
Ill-equipped to handle the question
Never mind the pursuit
Then in walked a heavy man wearing glasses
Pin-striped suit
“I’m looking for Frank Delahunt?”
That’s me
I said
Filling fast
Fast filling with a sense of dread
He handed me a manuscript
It looked familiar
It was by book
“I want to talk to you about a book deal.”
My God
I turned to my best mate Harry
That was my goal right there
As I signed on the dotted line
Later that night I stumbled on home
Recalling what had happened
But the funny thing was
The sad thing was
I didn’t care
As long as I could drink
When there turned out to be no beer in the fridge
I took on the bridge
One more time
Knocked on the front door of the pub
“Let me in, I’m a regular!
And what’s more a published writer!!”
The barman looked tired
“I don’t care who or what you are!
Beer will cost the same…
And ’tis a shame
‘Cos I only serve dead-beats.”
I turned in the opposite direction
Looked at my pants
Noticed the makings of an erection
On off with me to the nearest Chinese brothel
Could write a story about that
Sell it on to another publisher
Or the same one from the pub
Only this time double the money
Got as far as the brothel
Met a fanciable Chinese girl
“Well hello honey!
Fancy some fun with a published writer?”
She shrugged
Said I could do what I liked
As long as I didn’t bite
Thomas… ya bastard!
He got there first