There’s a way of being ok. A way of actually being ok with the OCD. And that’s to… truly, truly fall in love with every single part of your brain, even the imbalanced parts. It’s not right but it’s also… a part of me. And a large part at that, to be perfectly honest. I have to accept that as well as everything else. I want to accept that, even. I do accept that, time and again, actually. Endlessly. There’s too much out there for me, too many great people in my life, too many people to make laugh and have a huge laugh with, too. Too many people who depend on me as well as I do them. To anyone else it may well just boil down to being a mental-illness on my side of things, but they do know, as well as they can, I guess. Mom, Dad, Shane, Claire… everyone, really. It’s time now to rest and relax and do all that I want and wish to do. I’ve covered every angle of mental avenue with this illness. I’ve.. gone to places inside of the mind which I do actually think, and on the flip-side, has given me an extremely caring and, what’s more, extremely… intrigued and quick-thinking, highly observant brain. I can’t really take all the credit for that either, the imbalance just working its way toward that in many ways, I guess. Or maybe I’m selling myself short there a little BIG bit. I am proud. And I am outlandishly thankful for the family and friends that I have in my life, of course I am. I see just how crazily instrumental they all are for me going forward. I’ve been through something no-one can ever deserve to have wished upon them, but neither am I sad. I am, in fact, the very opposite of sad, really, in many ways. Just that the illness does tend to interrupt all of these raw emotional feelings a lot of the time for my mind, even if I’m doing… okay. If I appear to be doing okay from the outside looking in, too. It’s never been easy for me, and that’s accepted too. Why? Because, truly, this is something which I need to work on now like never before, in making sure that I am okay going forward with everything, as I say. Baked a cheesecake today for Xmas and for Claire’s Beeday. Looks pretty damn good and tasty. Grabbed loads of alcohol for the house. Hit all of my exposures… and much, much more than that, really. Not gonna go out over Xmas. That’s fine with me. Or to maybe go out but not drink. That’s fine too. People can understand as well as I explain it all to them. Up to them on their part, really, and not my issue at all. As in it is literally nothing to do with me, none of my business in fact. Going out or even just being in large crowds tends to most of the time pummel all of my hard work far, far too easily and I sometimes have to just sit back and let my mind relax ❤️