🕺

You kinda wanna create other things too, not just with the scribbles. You watch films and see all of the angles and fancy yourself for injecting a few more BrandNEW ideas to these things way, way down the line and only ever hopefully of course. But that level of scrutiny, let’s say, is fairly unasked for in the first place. I mean it’s seriously a rare thing for me to ever watch any film and to not be approaching it from the viewpoint of the director. This isn’t too much fun all of the time, as often it is down to the OCD. Try to land a state of calm in a none too calm brain and you’re bound to maybe end up focusing obsessively on something or other. Is it a distraction from the OCD? It’s part of the OCD. Only just how much that is the case at any time, only I can know. I need to state this one thing again. OCD might be a whole lot easier for the sufferer to understand and, what’s more, stomach only for the fact that they seem to eventually actually end up forgetting that they even have this chronic mental illness, it that frazzled up there in the first place. You work with it, but you also need to… as I said before, come up with a way of truly letting it be there whilst also improving… whilst also… actually living a life outside of it. I’d say about ninety five percent of my mind is taken up with OCD in some interrupting form or other – so to get that down to, what? Even fifty percent might be rather nice 😃 This all sounds like a mental game to an outsider I’m sure, and maybe it is, just a game with no real winner unless the player can actually manage to turn off what hasn’t even been able to be ‘turned-off’ by world renowned doctors and psychologists, even OCD experts, but I will work with them, if needs be 🤷‍♂️