You’re living with a state of shock and fear that no one can comprehend. You are living with a mental disorder which, seemingly, cannot be cured. And that is fine, if that is in fact the case with ocd. You are a phenomenal person by way of what you’re going through. That’s just a given truth whatever the day and mental state I may find myself in. When it is petrifying and all of your favourite thoughts are mixed up inside of your head and unable to gather any sort of much needed symmetry of said thought, you still continue on. Still smile, still frown, still try and be as kind as you can be. You don’t look too far ahead of yourself, although, truth said, that is something a dreamer might like to do as much as anyone else. You hold on in there. You find a way to thrive without touching that utter need to figure the imbalance out. You rest. You do not let yourself be angry with what you are losing when it comes to your life, your personality, etc. You’re a blank slate inside of your mind. It appears you may just have to be that way. You cannot he frustrated, and so as not to be that particular way, you Lean On In. No judgement calls regarding the state of your illness and at any given time. And… I don’t know 🤷‍♂️