😃

It will feel… outrageously messed-up, will OCD. It will feel… fantastic at times because, well, when your brain and mind are finally realising it all to’ve been down to a complex imbalance, when you actually get to that stage in proceedings, the stage all OCD sufferers LITERALLY dream of, you won’t be used to the other side of living. Like… at all. As in, how you were truly supposed to be doing… minus that mind-dragging and highly inexplicable distortion. It will be… both crazed and crazy. For sure. But, above all else, it will NEED TO BE, by the sufferer, boiled ALL DOWN TO THE IMBALANCE AND NOTHING ELSE, for themselves anyway. There won’t ever be any plaudits for just how much you go through to get to ‘you’, to get to your very own mind and brain and how you hope it can begin to feel for itself to a suitable and sustainable extent. That’s fine. But it’s all an illogical and pummelling, widespread imbalance of the brain and, really, the doctors need to, as they undoubtedly do try their best to achieve, figure-out the precise enough parts of the brain that are doing the constant damage to the sufferer’s psyche and, what’s more, for the sufferer to, well… understand all of the above and to live with it all and to truly trust in the process and what they’re being told to do to handle this whole thing. It’s sad and it’s crazy AND… I also wouldn’t swap a single thing because, truly, I’ve had to try, try, TRY and turn it all into the best version of myself that I could and can possibly do for myself. That’s what I do every day with this thing. That’s what a lot of people do with this thing, what a helluva lot of people have to do with many mental disorders, I’m sure, too. And, of course, what a helluva lot of people have to do even minus a chronic mental illness occurring inside of their brain, I guess, too. Because I get that it’s a brain that still needs to be nurtured, like for anyone. So, for someone to wonder: “but why is he so happy all the time, then!? Why doesn’t he seem utterly addled all of that time if this disorder is THAT BAD!!?” Why? Because you either try and choose to sink or swim with this particular disorder, minute-to-minute, and you truly are tasked with… every day kinda literally sitting your brain and mind down and trying as you might to train that very same brain and mind to somehow, over time, learn that this thing will always and forever be a mental mousetrap that you CANNOT AFFORD TO LET THAT IMBALANCE OF BRAIN ENTHUSE YOU TO GO NEAR ❤️