😉

Firstly. You’re looking for a lot of shit to not be happening anymore. And by that I mean that you’ll be expecting yourself to sit and stand or whatever, really, you’ll be doing and in total silence probably, hmm… maybe ninety-percent of the time. That just the way things are in general really, I suppose. So, for an OCD sufferer to be expected to handle that is like, say, perhaps expecting a dragon to not breath fire, a cat to now meow, a dog to not bark… and on and on. A shark NOT TO SCARE A HUMAN BEING WHEN THEY SUDDENLY COME INTO CONTACT WITH IT! The OCD onslaught is automatic, you see. It’s basically the same for its hardship as expecting a firecracker to NOT go off on being lit. That impossible to live with. That’s it… that’s the way it is and maybe always will be to a large enough extent for a sufferer of this unruly condition of the brain. Unless, of course, someone can somehow manage to find the exact parts of the brain’s imbalance which need balancing in an OCD sufferer, that is. And OCD Science are trying to help massively with that actually 👏 And even that sudden balance of the brain for a sufferer, I’m fairly sure, may just bring with it its own kinda.. “what the **** is this??? Am I… not supposed to be anxious right now like always before, to be… on fire inside of my head all the time?” The OCD imbalance is particularly opposed to EVERYTHING the sufferer believes. Everything they stand for. Even if all they do actually stand for doesn’t often even get the opportunity to come to the fore owing to the OCD onslaught, rest-assured, it’s absolutely still there. Dunno why or how, but the imbalance seems to have dodged all of the truest parts of a sufferer’s personality and, instead, it finds itself to be entirely focused in on simply… setting your anxiety on full-throttle and non-stop. And the rest? The. Shitshow. Of. The. Century. A landscape of mind that the sufferer cannot seem to escape from, as it gets worse and worse until, well… you’re not you at all anymore, really. Like taking a person and chopping their fingers off. Same kinda lack of willingness for it to be happening to them. Same lack on any interest whatsoever in anyone wanting THAT particular thing done to them, is more-so what I want to portray there. There is a huge wish in me fairly deep down probably to truly write about the OCD in a novel, book, play, whichever but, then, that’s been done quite often already. And done very well I’m sure. But you could read a book about it and it won’t seem the same at all. Different brain, different… themes and triggers. Different everything except for the one thing that does stay the same for all sufferers of OCD? Like with any sufferer of any mental illness, I guess, really. That it’s an imbalance happening in an extremely precarious part of the brain. It’s as simple and as utterly complex as that. Simple for the outsider to maybe listen and intently try and helpfully understand but equally impossible for the sufferer to comprehend what they need to do time and time again to be mentally okay with having OCD. Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit. With. It. But, even then, how much of you is being blighted, how much of you is being stopped from thinking in a straight line, let alone making huge strides in certain areas and aspects of your life? Like jobs, like creativity, relationships, etc., etc. For me anyway… about eighty-percent is being blighted when it’s even at its best for me, the OCD. Not eighty-present pain compared to the worst case scenario with OCD onslaught but eighty-percent of my time still being taken up by the disorder and its crazy-ass complexities, etc. I’ll get there, I do get there and quite often actually. But it’s definitely the most mind-distorting disorder out there. No two ways 😃