To be able to talk about OCD as a disorder in some sort of hindsight – in that you’re actually able to step away from the discombobulation of brain enough to see what the hell it is all about as far as mental disorders go – is incredible. It’ll still feel extremely precariously perched and certainly… like you’re sitting with a… brain begging for you to enthuse its imbalance again. Just. One. More. Time. But you can’t, and you won’t. I mean, sometimes you will, this particular imbalance JUST that saturating of the brain, but in terms of hardship and even the utter impossibility most of the time for the sufferer to live with it would maybe be akin to asking a pilot to land a big fat Boeing plane… on a jam-packed road… in the middle of an extremely busied New York City… filled with yellow taxicabs and to not scratch the plane, let along touch any human beings below. I mean that in terms of, let’s be honest here, the chances of a sufferer actually living perfectly comfortably with OCD if it has in fact turned into a chronic case. That the level of fear that is prevailing first and foremost in the sufferer’s brain. Perhaps the same probability of ‘survival’ actually in both cases, and by survival I simply mean the able-ness to feel mentally okay in these decidedly ******UP situations and not… that other thing. I understand this sounds all a bit upside down but, hey, it’s not easy! Then there is the mental anguish. Yeah, you can go right ahead and include the same situation but this time actually apply the pilot’s level of nerves to OCD anxiety, but unbelievably I still think that OCD’s mental anguish would perhaps have to be put ahead of the pilot’s. The comparisons are outrageous in their manner simply because this disorder is just that thing too. Yeah it is disgustingly… upsetting for its momentary and pulsating worth, but am I prepared to take it on? From start to finish and always was, and of course it makes my mind rather, shall we say, deep on an emotional level, however not based on anything really happening in front of me, which is so opposite to my real personality and feelings it’s nuts and utterly frustrating.