There comes a moment when you HAVE TO LET THE WHOLE THING GO… either way. That’s just how it has been and may always have to be if you do not walk through the flames til they actually manage at taming to a teeny weeny flicker. And I’m not speaking metaphorically here. Metaphors are… rather redundant. And then that flicker can be absolutely okay to carry about with you. A flicker is ten million times better than a roaring flame, trust me. You’re proud but then that pride gets sidetracked by a disorder- so unruly and disgustingly abrupt for its measured worth that you’re hardly even in there anymore. That’s just how it happened with the ocd. You don’t so much carry it around as.. say.. watch it utterly pummel your thinking-process in a straight line. You’re on the brink of dislocating said disorder only, then.. you find you’re right back directly where you started from and with each and every brand new day delaying itself as a result. A rarefied and complex mental thing that no one can fix but for yourself. You do wonder what it feels like not to have this thing, so, so very often and so, so very inescapably, it seems. That’s just, as I say, how it is. How it has always been. I would literally give… everything in the world away in a heartbeat to finally dislocate this thing. Everything. If I was told that to achieve such a thing, I’d to walk down Patrick’s Street over the busy Xmas period with not a shred of clothing on and a sign saying: “READ MY POETRY PLEASE!”, I’d not only do it once, I’d do it as many times as it takes to achieve said balance. Getting the balance back would be… … not only every Xmas in one go but, rather, the greatest gift my mind could land itself with. Because there is, as a damn downright odd and undeniably obvious result of said onslaught of mental rumination, a very… calm, intricate and otherworldly and able brain in there, begging to be free. Heck, it’s the reason I’m still going