There’s a point wherein I’ll feel a balance that belongs to only me; a balance that takes… Christ on a backward cycling bicycle, a level of… Focus and Resilience which I’m guaranteeing you NOT MANY people will have ever had to try and painstakingly achieve for themselves going forward. It’s a gut instinct trust that goes so deep to the part of you that wanted and needed no part of the ocd onslaught; the part of you that.. quite honestly was ALWAYS THERE, always trying to hit the surface. I don’t need or want any such plaudits, just to… sit with my family, my friends, my girlfriend, and not fear that I am about to slip away from reach. I want to get to a place wherein… it’s all fine, it’s all just what it has to be. The balance. It’s the only word that needs to be met with regarding the ocd. Has always been that word. I don’t wanna talk or think about it for the rest of my life. I feel like one of the luckiest guys out there. Always have. But.. I want to smile and mean it, be sad and mean it. Be upset and mean it. Be boisterous, humorous, etc. AND MEAN IT. Not be those many things whilst, simultaneously, trying to figure out.. “am I really happy, really sad, really whatever at this moment.. or… is it just the fucking ocd. Normalcy. That would be THE GREATEST GIFT I could ever give to myself, and I try ever single day 💓The aims and goals and wishes are the exact same as everyone else, pretty much, just that… I have set the bar so outlandishly high across the board with regards accomplishing things in general now that.. to achieve and take it all back, all that I missed out on, would also be nice