It will still take everything in me to turn this thing ‘off’ – the ocd, I mean, of course. I have done all that I can. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. I have ocd – chronically so – and I am never going to give up in finding that necessary balance for myself. I understand it, it might just be starting to understand me. Lose the label, as Alison one said to me. Lose the whole imbalanced part that runs through your brain. Let it all FALL AWAY TO NOTHING. That’s the hoped for aim with this particular thing. 🤔 I am proud, even so much as blown-away at what I still continue to achieve amidst this thing inside of my head-the-ball. OCD. I have it. I am dealing with this mental imbalance and heart-breakingly crushing delay in proceedings as well as ANYONE has surely ever handled a mental illness diagnosis. It is not ONE of the most debilitating mental illnesses in the world. It is THE most debilitating mental illness in the world! That’s the harsh truth of the situation for any such sufferer. That’s the game we have to play with our own minds much of the time. And that is what it is. But this? This whole thing will always only ever push me on to greater and bigger and more caring things. It might feel like a tonne of weight but it’s gonna fall away eventually. 😃
Categories
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- Mental Health (167)
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Recent Poems
- “When It Beggars Belief, Really.”
- There’s a dance that tried to catchFIRE(.)
- “Like Playing The PerfectPersuasion ofPiano WithA WhirlwindInside of TheirBrain”
- Their BottledUPemotions.
- They’ve Been… ChAoTiCaLlY CoPiNg WiTh morning-timeEquilibrium.
- BaTtLinGAgaInsTTheirBetterSelves.
- Staring through the faces before them for the sake of being kind on themselves – what it did take… is everything within We
- Sisters and Brothers United. when the tears inside of their eyes catch fire.
- “A Generation Of Also-Rans. Probably…. .”
- Essential Authenticity. Their hU$tL€ for (utter) hApPiNeS$.
- Selecting Themselves Again.
- The Circus Called & They Want Their Acrobats Back.
- -AllEyesRightHere.
- “Prepare the Stage, Please.”
- Determination SpeaksIn UpstandingVolumes.
- Happiness Starts.
- A Slice of Heaven-In-Hell – “her eyes are for him this time and the Dedication is Deafeningly Real.”
- Walking with WankerFaced Angels
- Blossoming UnderFire.
- “If Our Younger Selves Saw Us Now!”
- 💃
- Upside+down and overheadEquiliBrIuM – when her mind got Itself Volleyed Back To Belonging
- Close Encounters of the Greatest Artists on Earth. Many of Them Outlandishly Scattered. Few and Far Between. Here, There, and Everywhere
- Reunited. A Diamond of Doubt.
- The Power of Their plAYfUl ACcuRaCy. “Yes.” We WERE a Skelton of Ourself.
- HelloANDgoodbye to the RipTiDeInside of their Minds; Welcome to the Revelation Inside of their UNBREAKABLE brains.
- A Pinnacle That Points Toward TheSky: “Oh My, TheirEyes HaveBeen ToSee… A Thousand TwIsTeDThings, maybe(?!)”
- Hi!
- Wish us luck, then
- Champagne Kisses In TheMiddle Of València, and she didn’t even catch him rummaging about for a rumination… .
- 😉
- The OCD. the effing oCd
- “No Tears Here, Please.”
- Bouncing for free now
- “They Stretch The Strength Of Their Bruised And Battered bOdIeS Both Ways. Probably, maybe… Definitely(!!)”
- 😃 😃 😃
- “They Rode This WaveTogether. Ever since… it all made… delightfully abstract kinds of SenSe.”
- “Smooth is the Calmest of Blue-River.”
- “Set-the-Standard and WalkDostoyevskian, plEASE.”
- (——)
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