You strengthen everything- everything. Every thing absolutely, and you live with it, the intrusion, the utter chance of inescapable rumination equals rabbit-hole rumination equals… a brain on constant cyclical strain of thought. Shifting and whirring AND WORRYING and buzzing. A brain on absolutely obsession-fuelled fire. A brain which CANNOT actually breathe. A brain so very ludicrously imbalanced that your mind cannot seem to find its way back to the surface. And the surface is real, it is wonderful. Why so wonderful? Because when you can manage to get away from the stranglehold of ocd as a mental illness, although it is obviously different with regards the severity for each separate sufferer, in general it would absolutely be likened to… escaping from a prison sentence wherein you did literally zero wrong (you are TOTALLY innocent) and, yet, you’d to sit in complete and mAdDeNiNg(!!) silence behind iron bars(ocd intrusive thoughts) and for the grand and disgustingly improper total of 27-years of a 38-year life whilst you simultaneously wait, IMPATIENTLY, for someone, ANYONE! to unlock the cell door and set you free. Yeah, that’s it. Multiplied somewhat. Yeah that’s a rather long ass sentence right there. Necessary though 😀 No one deserves to ever have to go through what I’ve had to withstand, and to have gotten my writing off the ground in the first place took… a level of painstaking resilience so very excruciating and life-pummelling that THAT in itself deserves all of the acknowledgement in the world. And I will give it to myself so soon as I can make this thing settle enough to live the way I have always wished to do so- calmly and accepting of all the silly and trivial stuff that can happen along with it 😃 And cheers to my magical family as ever xx Of course without them I wouldn’t he here. I know that is rather morbid but… they are utterly unique and authentic in their very own magical way and that sets my love for them alight more and more every single day

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