it is impossible to understand ANY LEVEL of insanity. And I was thinking it over last night, for just a few seconds really, and while my ocd does literally, as far as I can tell, send a very large and core part of my brain-wiring toward insanity(if what they say is true in that the definition of insanity IS IN-FACT thinking the same thing over again and again without any notable results) it has also, thankfully, been left with a very resilient and hard-working, balanced part of my brain simultaneously fighting to survive, what I am thinking here is: How can anyone but feel for a person with NO WAY BACK. Ie. Schizophrenia, for instance. These sufferers have been hijacked in their brains all of the way through to the core and back AND from start-to-finish, and that is… all sorts of outrageously unfair. Now, I don’t want to worry anyone or pin-prick their ears all the more by using the word ‘insanity’ with regard my own ocd ordeal. However. In truth that appears to be how it is, and like with anything and at any level of mental suffering and anguish, that balance NEEDS TO BE ULTIMATELY ALLOCATED. For me, I have to do that by letting all of the ruminations which sprint at dumbfounding pace just proceed on and do their damnedest. That became its own kind of impossible and hence the necessity for the diagnosis to be understood in my particular instance and, what’s more, for me to work vigorously with doctors. But the core of my brain has been knocked off centre, knocked off its axis. That’s the simple yet complex, too, truth. So, really, you are left.. insane in a sense. Not insane in terms at all of how films tend to portray it. Although, that said, if the ruminations, etc. that have persisted in my life for so very long a time were ever to have been visually portrayed in said film representation, then… yeah.. it would not look very pretty, or normal, at all. Or, and this is the important part, in any way sane. So yeah, that is ocd. Only, with ocd the sufferer is agonisingly given a front row seat to their own horror show: Ie. You know it is happening- intensely know it – and yet you CANNOT for the life of you stop it.