Ultimately, you are trying to balance what will absolutely feel as if impossible to balance, with the ocd. However, and this is as important as anything else can ever be in my life. To ALWAYS, ALWAYS take the time and at any given moment to KNOW, just know, that I can, in fact, stop and take a breather whenever I catch myself ruminating again. It’s hard. It’s hard as hell, but it’s built one helluva shell with regards my mental resilience, that’s for sure. Baby-steps can be difficult to stomach for anyone, but I know what it’s worth, my taking my absolute time in understanding this thing. To understand it wholly is, for the large part, to also NOT try at understanding it AT ALL. Again. Difficult. I know what it is, I know its pitfalls, and I am slowly learning to know, JUST KNOW.. that the support-system is there for me, always has been and always will be, however much I might need it. I’d rather not need it, of course, and I hate how this disorder interrupts my natural flow and approach to things, but it’s still obviously invaluable to me. The only real way that I can begin to repay the people who have cared for me and for so very long a time with this disorder of the brain is to, well, ultimately look after myself. That, in turn, will definitely make them feel better that I am feeling better. As I always say, I’m not a robot. I have to have pure and unprovoked emotions. I have to have that natural ability to rest and breathe and to do whatever else it may take. I’m OK. I will be OK.