Yeah, OCD is lonely but that isn’t really the issue. The issue IS the imbalance happening, and the rest is, well, just as it always will be for the sufferer – UTTER… mental gymnastics, and neither will they all too often be in a mental place whereby fear isn’t running the gamut. And by fear I do not mean a fear that can inevitably be sorted owing to what the actual worry in the person’s mind might actually be about in the real world happening around them but rather a ‘fear’ embedded by a level of imbalance in the first instance which will have a sufferer’s brain and mind certain as to utter catastrophe. What does that even mean when it is indeed inside of the brain and mind and absolutely never really going to happen outside of this? In an actual physical instance and right before our eyes. Or at least not in the intense and effed-up… way that it can be an utter, UTTER mental guarantee that it IS actually going to happen and one zillion percent inside of the mind for a sufferer and, therefore, bringing that level of mental… dread along for the ride with it. I guess it means a level of exasperation for the sufferer in again and again AND AGAIN… finding themselves utterly unceremoniously trying to figure the hell out why this embedded ‘fear’ is instilled in the first place. That level of ‘fear’ is… quite frankly profound for its level of… automatic panic AND mental certainty as to aforesaid catastrophe happening. The dread is… profound as well, of course it is, but that word can’t even begin to describe the crux of the illness in terms of the sufferer believing it really IS game-over. That’s not a feeling, it’s a fecking… … engrained… mental glitch, you’d have to say, which causes unavoidable quite often… I dunno, you’d have to perhaps call it… a sprinting kind of depression?! A mind is surely deeply depressed to some extent if the mental dread is THAT colossal. I’ve analysed all of it… and then even ended up making those analyses eventually embedded themes of their own. OCD IS… outlandishly impressive for its hurting worth, that is… if, say, a psychologist wished to ‘enjoy’ listening and learning from a sufferer what their mind is taken through on a daily basis. What I mean is that it would surely intrigue a highly learned psychologist, is all. Hell, it even ends up intriguing anyone who tries to get their head around it when ever they might decide to ask me for a more informed explanation. It’s a little big bit unfair for its complex circumstance, is OCD, and you will need to follow notes in your phone quite regularly as well just so as to remind yourself again that you are in fact caught up all over again within this dastardly disorder. At least I do. You’re caught up even when you’re NOT caught up, if that makes any sense. And if it doesn’t then I’ll happily explain it, but explaining it is done by the sufferer of any mental disorder, I am fairly certain, so that they can feel less… lost. Less.. afraid of their own brain. Less… … heartbreakingly on their own with this thing, really. There really is no comparison with this thing and that’s okay with me too because pretty much everything is run by the OCD in one strenuously perverted way or another and that IS life-changing but I’ll never say life-destroying because that’s not what it is. Well, I mean it probably is just that thing for the sufferer of such an illness and definitely from the outside looking in because of the automatic response owing to the decades and decades of mental rumination having occurred and what it has stood in the way of, but I don’t choose to see it that way and I hope I never will either. You’ve to engrain a belief in your mind of a profound and highly unlikely kind, really, so as to try and help it go against a profound and highly fecking unlikely kind of… mental disbelief, maybe? So, what you gotta do is you really gotta dig so deep to find a way, a way to be as okay as possible because this disorder won’t leave you feeling naturally okay all that often at all. But what it will do is it will have made you painstakingly observant and painstakingly… aware as to all of the things which your mind will have tried to take onboard and in a normal, straight-forward manner. Even if straight-forward and normal is an extremely rare occurrence for an OCD sufferer. Sure your mind is learning even at its most saturating level of OCD doubt but it is seemingly at a very strange and paused pace that can actually feel like it has disappeared the following day even. For the addled sufferer. It really hasn’t but that‘s extremely hard to understand… that what you’ve taken onboard over time will in fact inform your decisions as best as they can do even when you’re seemingly all caught up in OCD-land. Ultimately, you are living with the greatest mental mind**** imaginable and even that is okay for the sufferer, needs to be, because, well, things aren’t supposed to be this mentally taxing even in an actual living, seething proper catastrophic scenario happening before our very eyes ❤️