I don’t think anyone else can ever even begin to understand the rumination’s. And neither is it their thing to have to understand. Spain is amazing. A chilled-out place for sure, and with a sun-filled vibe second to none. And with the ocd you really do have to take the time to figure in what might suit your particular situation and at any given time. Sure there were moments of my being in a bathroom during a meal here wherein I was literally staring in the mirror at myself and trying to not get caught-up again. Begging it not to happen. Watching all of the normal day to day things happen around me but with this utterly illogical sideshow inside of my mind and blatantly attempting to be the main show all over again. Many will daydream and think about certain things with their day while they do things. Of course they will. However, my daydreams, etc. get swapped for said barbarically interruptive rumination’s – a fear that the shit WILL definitely hit the fan all round if I do not figure out how to settle that possibility from occurring. That’s the imbalance and hot wiring of brain doing its damn dastard thing all over again. Alas, caught-up I did get. No one sees it. No one can begin to understand or imagine the trap door your particular mind has to deal with in trying to navigate a way back to the sound of silence. That’s why I got the ‘Sound of Silence’ tee-shirt in the first place 🤷‍♂️ If people actually saw the working of mind that has to go into allaying this thing. The stuff you need to do that not many others will even even have to consider doing, let alone understand why it even needs to be done in the first place 😮 🙄 I guess, really, that you cannot “almost be there” with ocd. With ‘curing’ it. It’s a part of you but it needs to be totally left to do it’s damnedest and at any given time, because you either end up living your life or bed-ridden with it. I, of course, always chose the latter. Who wouldn’t. But the potential now in me that deserves to be met with time. It’s big. Bigger than it probably might have been had I actually not had this thing to deal with.