There’s something in the water
Something not too safe
Give it a go
If you like
But there’s some danger
What do you mean
I mean everything’s not safe
But plenty of people have swam
Here before
I know
But I’m only telling you
Telling you that
I’ve a feeling about it
But where’s the fun in
Trying anything
If you think like that
Fair call
But don’t say I didn’t
Warn you
I took off my top and trousers
And went for broke
This isn’t so bad
The water was absolutely fine
No qualms at all
Then it started to warm up
Began to feel a little…
I looked at the middle-aged man
Sitting a few metres over
His face looked red
Redder than red
He’d a fondness for the whiskey
You see
Then he lifted his legs
They were scalded
Almost to the bone
He was in one hell of
A moan
Get out! Get out!
He screamed
Pointed at the steam
This rivers not safe
Not by a long…
I hopped from the water
Watched him fall face first
Into the steam
By now he had to scream
I pulled on my trousers
Added my top
And saw him disintegrate
Right in front of me
You were right
How did you know
Because I lost a leg in this same river
A decade ago
He unlocked his fake leg
And showed it to me
I know
It’s hard to believe me
Because I’ve barely a leg to stand on
But you’d have done well to listen
That guy over there
Going through the same process
Awful, awful process
I did a decade ago
Will do well to listen
In the future
Here’s the lesson
Always listen to a man
Missing a leg
Never listen to a man
Missing two legs though
Otherwise Pistorius would be away on
A wing and a prayer