I know I’m doing the right things with the OCD but it’s beyond mentally hard. To be honest, while I’m obviously way better than before it’s still so very taxing on my mind. I mean, what more can a person with a mental illness do, to live okay with it? People are so, so good to me. They find me fun loving and kind, I feel. But how much do I really get to take it in in my mind and believe it? That’s hard to say because the OCD is that hectic an imbalance. I know Mom is so, so proud of me, and I know the rest of the family are the same. But it can make me rather paranoid. It can keep me on an edge which I really, really should not be on at all by this stage in proceedings. What I mean is that it feels like overkill. It’s like I’ve done everything, I’ve tired out the imbalance, even. I’ve been to the back ends of everything with my mind and brain and it feels as if… really, it just shouldn’t be persisting anymore. That’s how it feels. To ignore it and leave it there – the imbalance – is to still have pain of mind. I keep going. I keep trying. I’m tired, is all. The truth is, really, that my mind is depleted today and it needs a rest. That’s perfectly ok, of course 😃 A break from… searching for danger. Walked both the dogs today, did a bit of scribbles 💕 and just generally did the me being me thing 🤜 God, though, the people in my life reallt are wickedly good people and that goes for Phil without a shadow of a doubt. Legend!!