Maybe it is irreparable, the OCD imbalance, to a large extent. And maybe the medication is indeed life-enhancing absolutely. And maybe, just maybe, I also get to be the real me with this thing. Yes, I have OCD. Yes, it is absolutely mind-destroying and totally ******* putrid to have to try to live and cope with it as best we, as sufferers, most of the time can’t manage, actually. If the truth be totally told. But maybe, also, it gave me so many freaking amazing things. A brain that just knows, even when it doesn’t actually appear to myself to know at all. A brain that WON’T STOP TRYING to be okay with everything. And a brain that is just in pain while its mind and the person and the personality behind it tries to make it feel as good as they can. Always have done and always will do. Just walked both Joey and Rocko and back home now and upstairs. Watched ‘Strangers’ last night and ‘Prisoner’ before that, too. Two very good films. Crazy ******* films!! Prisoners? Bit of a masterpiece, to be fair, by Denis Villeneuve. Mind acting up? Absolutely. Mind trying to figure out the whole movie and how it works itself out from start to finish and every little mother-effing nuance happening in-between and on the director’s side of things before it had played out to the next part or else… DISASTER WILL UNSTOPPABLY OCCUR? That was certainly happening, too, and making it extremely difficult to actually just sit and enjoy a film for what it is. To watch it unravel as it may. Imagine that happening on a date, though, or something like that 😱 “What you think of that movie?” // “Ummmm… Ahhhh… YEEEEEAH.” Sit with the imbalance as best that I can manage? Yup. All boxes above ticked. As per usual, really. Will I actually be okay with my OCD going forward? One. Fucking. Million. Percent. I. Will!!! ❤️