The sickest of sick c*nts of an utter illness is what ocd is. My ocd. Forever-long and interrupting everything imaginable. You do all that you can. You… try and let it be there but, both unforgivably and unfortunately, the brain is so badly misfiring and -wired that it’s like you forget all of the time that it is actually just a f*cking embedded in your brain imbalance. It’s so heartbreaking and sad, actually, what happens to an ocd sufferer. And, ultimately, all that you want to do is to ‘cure’ it, but a cure doesn’t seem possible, I’m afraid. Not right now anyhow. You storm through literally a million moments in your life of mental miscalculation of the brain, etc. And that’s… I think we all know how horrendous it is at this stage in prolonged proceedings with the ocd. With my ocd. But… since the age of eleven or thereabouts, for it to have started its habit? That is precisely how long my ocd has run-amok. I’m THIRTY-NINE now!!! You do the math on that one, it’s not kind to the brain AT ALL, obviously. Grasping at mental straws when, really, you should be getting to utilise your brain AND MIND to its fullest extent. I can’t say I am proud of what I’ve had to overcome so far because, truth said, I’m too overwhelmed from it most of the time to feel anything except for, well.. yeah, fear and other kinds of crazily distorted rushing’s of feelings. Mountainous thoughts which also interrupt your personality. And what a good and caring one I do appear to have always had. I think. You are irritated owing to the simplest of things, of tasks. People don’t realise how wound-up you are all of the time, and that it’s no part of how you want to feel. How can it be? It is utter mental torture. That’s heartbreaking, too. However… naaaah! There’s no however with this particular mental disorder, it really is either be balanced or… dead and buried, or at least in a mental sense because you aren’t able to feel anything really connected with reality: things happening right in front of your very eyes, I mean. You’re tasked with something so very preposterous and out of your utter control that… that… that it needs to be helped… and AND fixed. And for all of the goddamn sufferer’s. No one deserves this. No one. Not even Hitler, Putin, and the likes.